Gloria A. Huh, Ph.D.
PSYCHOLOGIST & COACH
Fighting with your parents is keeping you from getting what you want.
Use The Blackberry Principle to let go of your Asian immigrant parents’ expectations, reclaim your voice (not the one that yells in defense), and show up more fully in the relationships that matter.
Take this assessment to see if intergenerational trauma coaching is right for you
We attached and learned from traumatized people in trauma.
Our Asian parents demand respect from us but we question why it’s not a two-way street.
So we try to stand up for ourselves, draw boundaries and prove ourselves but to no avail.
If you don’t want to cut your parents off and are trying to heal the relationship,
That’s where The Blackberry Principle comes in.
The Blackberry Principle
Three steps to healing intergenerational trauma
Identify the shame by understanding why it formed
PEST
PLUCK
Uproot lies and replace with truth
PLANT
Receive goodness; extend understanding
WHY THE BLACKBERRY METHOD & INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA
This all started with my own turbulent relationship with my parents. Just like I’m sure you’ve done, I challenged my thoughts, changed my behavior, and worked harder to be…”better.”
But none of it worked.
Eventually, I came to understand that I had to deeply understand my relationship with my parents and face the internalized shame I harbored in order to excavate the real truth. And only then could I begin healing–both myself and my relationship with my parents.
I followed the exact same steps as what I now call The Blackberry Principle.
You’ve been working hard to fix yourself. But you were never the problem.
You learned how to read the room before reading yourself. How to become acceptable before becoming known. How to hide the parts of you that felt too emotional, too complicated, too cultural, or simply too much.
These adaptations helped you stay connected and survive within your family. But now they may be keeping you from transforming your relationship with your parents and feeling peace and confidence to be unapologetically yourself.
You don’t need to become someone better. You need to uncover who you were before you learned to disappear.
I help Asian American adults unlearn who they were told to be, heal what they inherited, and build relationships rooted in authenticity, safety, and repair.
Why Asian American adults?
I came to understand that the work I had done to repair my relationship with my own parents required the same root-level excavation: uncovering inherited shame, questioning who I had learned to be, and reclaiming the parts of myself I had hidden to stay connected.
As a second-generation Korean American who has lived this work—and experienced the freedom it can create—I’m especially equipped to help other Asian American adults repair relationships with critical parents without abandoning themselves or writing off their families.
The root work is to unlearn who we were told to be so we can show up fully in how we care, heal, and connect. And when that happens, we change not only individual lives, but what healing looks like and whom it makes room for.
“Working with Gloria as a coach led to the biggest mental health breakthroughs I’ve ever had—and I’ve had three different therapists since I was 22. The first big revelation came just in the second session, and if we left it there that would’ve already been a game changer for me. Gloria always reminds me that I have to feel safe first. She’s very real. The whole process felt like talking to a big sister.
By our fourth session, communicating with my parents had become more peaceful. I didn’t realize it, until Gloria pointed it out. I wondered if I could actually heal my relationship with my parents the week or two before.
In just a few sessions, I’ve been able to make some huge shifts in how I show up, understand myself, and how I communicate with others.
I think Asian Americans who want to heal a strained relationship with their parents could gain a lot from working with her because she understands that complexity personally and deeply.”
-Justine